And then the nurse said...

We sat in a large conference room awaiting our medicine administration training and the nurse came in.

And the nurse said,

You’re not just giving them a pill. You’re observing how that pill affects your residents. And you have to understand them to understand how to talk to them about their medications and why they have to take these pills that sometimes make them sick, or tired, or make them hysterical.

And then the nurse said…

Sometimes you’ll try to tell him to do something or take something and he’s going to look at you thinking, ‘what right do you have to tell me what to do.’ He’s going to look at you, thinking about how young you are, and how you get to leave each day and you have your life waiting for you. He’s going to want to have your youth and your life. And you’ll leave and he’ll still be there. And sometimes he’ll get so depressed that even if he knows you’re right, he just won’t be able to listen to you…

And then the nurse said…

Her face was so swollen she could barely open her eyes. She had had so many shunts in her arms from going back and forth from dialysis. Her hair was falling out, she was almost completely bald. Some days she could barely get out of bed. And she wants to know why she should come down every morning and take her meds and eat a good breakfast just so that she can do it all over again.

And then the nurse said…

It’s that desire for a relationship, for someone to lie beside you. He didn’t care that she was blind too, or that she couldn’t walk. He didn’t care that neither of them could take care of themselves. He’d give it all up: the people to cook his meals, wash his clothes, clean his room, give him his meds… He was willing to risk it all just to have someone to lie next to and someone to love.

And then the nurse said…

He had cerebral palsy long before he had HIV. He worked so hard to be able to leave and be on his own. He thought he had family that would help him. So he left… but no one ever came to see him. Where were the ones who were supposed to love him? Of course, then he had to come back to the house. He had to come back to a place where there were strangers who would love him and help him and give him what he needed.

And then the nurse said…

She can’t even give herself her own medications, but somehow she goes out everyday and takes care of other sick people. She gives them medicine, helps them feed themselves, keeps them safe…and she’s so tired and weak at the end of the day. And she wonders why she can’t do all of these things for herself.

And then the nurse said…

He doesn’t want to get addicted again. Sometimes he’s in so much pain he can’t move, but he won’t take the drugs, he won’t let himself. So instead he just suffers. Sometimes he’ll sleep all day hoping that when he wakes up the pain will be gone…but it never is.

And then the nurse said…

Congratulations, you are now medicine administration certified.